Worry

I am a natural worrier. I find myself worrying about anything and everything if I let my mind and heart wander. It’s gotten worse now that I’m a SAHM, because I feel like I am with my thoughts all day with no “escape” that a job provides.

Lately, I’ve found myself worried about…

Will Max learn to sit up? Will he learn to walk? Will he be included by Miller and Maggie as they get older? Will they be embarrassed by him? Will Maggie need speech? Will all these therapies ever end? Will I ever feel like just a mom or will I also be a constant therapist to my own kids? Am I teaching my kids to love all people well? Will we have more kids? Have I encouraged Ryan enough this week? (His love language is words of affirmation and we all know I am quick with my words, so I actively have to pray and prepare daily to encourage him. To stop my mind and think before I speak). Will we find a house to buy? Will I go back to work one day?

You get the idea. I worry. A lot. And maybe you can relate?

And then comes the guilt. God says not to worry. So then I try to swing the other way and become carefree and live life to the tune la-la-la.

But, I think this is where I get in trouble, I’m taking God’s command, do not worry and trying to make my life a musical with no direction or plan or care.

When reading Matthew 6:25-34 it gives us the command to not worry and Jesus provides many reasons not to worry. I’m going to insert a comment here and say I believe there is a difference between worry and concern.

The difference between worry and concern:

Worry immobilizes me, it becomes all consuming, but concern moves me to take action rooted in Christ.

Worry is rooted in fear, concern is rooted in love and trust.

I can be concerned for Max’s well being, but I’m not called to worry about his future.

I can be concerned about what I’m teaching my kids, but I’m not called to labor or stress.

I can be concerned about encouraging Ryan, but I’m not asked to replay conversations in my head.

I can be concerned about our future home, but I can be confident we will find one.

I can be concerned about having more kids, but I’m told God is the Giver of Life.

What does the Bible say about worry?

Worry keeps us from overcoming fears and challenges (6:33)

Worry keeps me from living one day at a time (6:34)

Worry keeps me from trusting God with all the details (6:25)

Worry clouds my present (6:26)

Worry is rooted in fear and is harmful to my future (6:27)

and...drum-roll please...the big one for me, worry shows a lack of faith (6:31)

Why can I not fully trust God with my worries? The answer, it’s a lack of faith and not trusting that He has the perfect plan for me. I find myself falling into the lie, that if I think about it enough, rearrange the moving pieces enough, think through the details enough, I can will it to happen. And what’s funny, is my worrying has never resulted in anything productive. So here I sit at my parents house writing this and trying to live each day as it comes.

Let’s move closer to the cross. Let’s lay our worries down and finally trust that He is good.

-Abby