His and Her Reactions
The Beginning
We started our baby journey in late 2015. After a year of trying, in December 2016, we found out we were pregnant. It was truly a miracle and an answered prayer.
Preparing for one was done. Checklist complete. We were filled with hope and excitement for the coming year.
During/After the first ultrasound…
His
Psalm 127 was the verse my wife, Abby, highlighted when she first told me she was pregnant. It was on December 30th, 2016 that she walked into the kitchen and handed me my Bible. She had bookmarked the page and after a half-second of confusion I understood why she had chosen this particular verse. She was pregnant. After over a year of praying and trying with no luck it had happened. I was ecstatic! Abby would tell you that I have been ready for kids long before she was. This is probably due to the fact that I refuse to completely “grow up”. I always thought I would cry in the moment I found out I would be a father, but I didn’t. There was no fear, anxiety or doubt. This was a gift from God and in just over 9 months we would be welcoming our first child.
Psalm 127: 3-5 says that “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” This is the line Abby highlighted to share the news with me. I read it over and over with a smile on my face.
Now there were two things I missed:
Children is the plural form of child.
The rest of the verse reads: “Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.”
I was about to be a very blessed man.
Two weeks later was the highly anticipated first ultra-sound and the first time we would lay eyes on our first child. I left work for a couple of hours to meet Abby at the OBGYN office. Naturally, my substitute did not show up and I was scrambling to find someone to cover my class so I could make the appointment. After leaving late, driving past the office and two calls from Abby asking where I was I made it. Stressed, I got into the examination room and the ultra-sound technician got Abby ready. We were both excited and nervous to see our child. The technician searched for the tiny little blob that would be our child and said something I will never forget:
“Were you on any fertility medication?”
“Just Clomid”(Abby didn’t ovulate naturally)
“Well, congratulations! There are three!
As soon as I heard three the world went silent. It was hard to describe. Like everything was muted. Abby was crying hysterically. My mind immediately went to numbers:
How much do three babies cost?
I’m a first-year teacher!
Medical costs? Diapers? Clothes? Food?
Only questions rushed into my head. I asked God why us? We had planned for one… not three! I was confused, sad, and terrified all in that moment.
I looked over at Abby, who was still in tears and tried my best to tell her it was going to be OK. But I didn’t fully believe my own words. We are both teachers. How could we make this work?
Seeing my wife that distraught was hard. This was supposed to be a happy day for us. One with hugs, kisses, and laughter. But it was only fear.
That was when God made His presence known to me. From the back of my mind came a sense of calm. We had prayed for this. Well….maybe not THIS, but God had answered our prayers. We can do anything with Him, including raising triplets.
Fully trusting God to provide in my life has always been a struggle. Now in one fell swoop He had answered our prayers and showed us that we would have to rely on Him to provide for EVERYTHING. I know that He will.
But stepping into the unknown is a scary thing to do.
-Ryan
Hers
At 8 weeks pregnant, I was ready to see our baby! I had taken a day off of work to have the appointment. Ryan met me at the doctor's office that morning. I was beaming and couldn’t stop smiling. I had waited so long for this gift.
The ultrasound tech started the ultrasound and then quickly removed the wand. She asked me if I had been on fertility drugs. I told her that I had just taken one round of medication that helps with ovulation (I didn’t naturally ovulate so needed help in this area). She then placed the wand back on my stomach and said, “Congratulations! I see Baby A, Baby B, and Baby C.”
TEARS and a PANIC ATTACK set in. I honestly don’t remember much about the next two hours including Ryan’s reaction, my thoughts, what I said, or did. There was no excitement in my mind, only fear of the unknown and questions of how.
I later calmed down and was brought to an exam room to talk through what I just saw. I wasn’t ready to talk.
Ryan had to head back to work, so I went to my parent’s house. My mom was there ready to hear all about the ultrasound. She could tell I had been crying. I showed her an ultrasound picture that had the three sacks. She immediately began to cry and we hugged for what seemed like 30 minutes.
It was the hours after spent with family and Ryan coming home from work that reminded me that God is good all the time. His promises are true. His plans are only to prosper.
The next two weeks were spent in prayer, scripture, and deep conversation with trusted friends.
In the past four weeks, I have learned that the panic and fear came from knowing I was going to be dying to myself (more than I had thought) and I didn’t have control.
My picture of having ONE baby…
Life doesn’t stop
Baby comes to Young Life club every Monday
I return back to work after 8 weeks
The realization of having THREE at one time…
My life isn’t mine anymore.
Can three babies come to Young Life?
Will I go back to work?
Jesus calls me daily to die to myself, pick up His cross, and follow Him. In these few short weeks, God has drawn me closer to Him, revealing His peace that passes all understanding, fears that are stopped when my striving ceases, plans that are far better than mine, and a life that I would have never dreamed on my own.
I still have moments of weakness, doubts, and questions, but I’m learning to take one moment at a time.
Please join me in prayer for the reminder that fears are stopped when my striving ceases.
-Abby