EVERY KID BELONGS.
(We adults don’t get to make the rules on that. We just get to make sure kids know it’s true.)
But kids with disabilities often don’t feel a sense of belonging — at school, at home, and in our communities.
IT’S ABOUT TIME WE CHANGE THAT, DON’T YA THINK?
“If I have to feel thankful about an accessible bathroom, when am I ever gonna be equal in the community?”
–Judith Huemann, (1947-2023), “Mother of the Disability Rights Movement”
Kids with disabilities have good reasons to wonder if they actually belong …
— They’re are often separated from their peers at school
— Most playgrounds don’t have basic accessibility equipment, like wheelchair ramps or smooth surfaces for kids to access play
— The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) — which made it illegal to discriminate against people with disabilities — wasn’t passed until 1990! That means most non-disabled adults didn’t grow up seeing, knowing, or forming friendships with disabled people in their classrooms. So most adults don’t know how to talk about disabilities or how to see disabled people as, well, people.
And even though a lot of us were taught that belonging matters? Not a lot of us were taught how to create it
We never learned…
How to answer our kids’ questions about the person using a wheelchair to get around the grocery store (💡 Don’t make up a story. Try something simple and true, like this: “Some people use wheelchairs to get around,” or if you don’t know the answer to your kids’ question, simply say, “You know what, I don’t know.”)
How to start a conversation with a disabled parent that will make them feel seen (💡 Try saying hi and asking them how their day is going, just like you would with anyone else.)
What to say if your kid or student or — let’s be real — you, yourself, accidentally says something hurtful to a person with a disability (💡 Don’t shame your kid into thinking disability is a bad word. Instead, if they or you hurt someone’s feelings, apologize.)
Sometimes, we get so afraid of saying or doing the “wrong” thing, we end up doing nothing at all.
But it’ll take all of us to make sure all kids get to feel like they belong.
That’s where disability education can make a big difference.
When you know more, you become a lot less scared about doing or saying something. Your home, your neighborhood, and your community start to become spaces of belonging.
No parent intentionally puts up barriers to belonging
But most of us weren’t taught about the existing barriers to belonging for kids with disabilities, or how to break them down.
I sure wasn’t. Before I became a mom to three (wonderful) kids with long-term disabilities or the founder of a nonprofit, I was a teacher. And if I were to go back to the classroom today, I would do a lot of things differently.
I had a Masters in Education, but I didn’t know nearly as much as I do now about how to create spaces of belonging. The beautiful thing? When we know better, we can do better. And after spending 6 years with my kiddos, doing everything from traveling for medical care, to finding the nearest park with accessible playground equipment, there’s a lot I know I can do now to make my community better.
I’m Abigail Burle—
Mom of three, founder of Belonging Co and our sister nonprofit: Love Your Story, and disability rights ally.
Belonging Co. was created by a group of people who are dedicated to creating spaces of belonging that include kiddos with disabilities.
But we’ll never call ourselves the experts on belonging. We’re learning alongside you, and taking action as we learn.
Because that’s what it’ll take to create a future where every kid belongs.
Meet our Contributors
Lacy Ferbrache
Lacy is 19 years old and calls Hall County home. She graduated from Cherokee Bluff High School. She spends most of her time advocating for the disability community, making hats and donating them to local NICUs, substitute teaching, or volunteering at SISU. She is passionate about creating spaces of belonging in her own community and believes it is essential to pave the way for others with the knowledge she has learned navigating this world with multiple disabilities.
When we make our homes and schools more inclusive for kids and families impacted by disabilities, it impacts all of us!
Subscribe to Disability Education Monthly, or reach out to your school about getting these newsletters sent to every family in your school district (with an option for parents to opt in or out).
Subscribing is $1.99 per month if you’re a parent, and $1/kid for school districts to license. The awesome thing? A portion of the proceeds goes to Love Your Story — our sister nonprofit — which provides housing for families traveling to receive medical care for their kiddos with long-term disabilities.
“Hmm. What do you mean when you say this impacts all of us?”
Your kid might not have a disability. But when we create spaces without barriers for students with disabilities, it benefits everyone.
Every student in that space is going to learn to communicate better, to adapt to other people’s needs, to be willing to learn from people who are different from them, and to truly see the people around them.
It’s a win-win-win-win-win, if you ask us.
“I’m kinda already overloaded with to-dos, here. …Don’t ask about the pile of dirty dishes in the sink.”
We get it. (👋🏻 Parent, here.) The good news? This isn’t about adding to your to-do list. It’s about doing what you’re already doing. How can you take your normal routine and make it more reflective and accepting of the differences your kids see in the world around them?
(💡 Can one of your nighttime stories this week feature a kid who has a hearing aid? If you spend time scrolling on social media every day (don’t we all), can you follow one disability rights activist? If your child wants a Barbie for their birthday, would you consider getting them a Barbie in a wheelchair? It sounds simple, but it sets your kids up to create spaces of belonging wherever they go.)
The best part?
A portion of proceeds from Belonging Co. goes back to Love Your Story — a nonprofit that provides housing for families impacted by disabilities who are traveling to receive medical care for their kids. (It’s our sister nonprofit, and if you haven’t heard of it, you should definitely go check it out.
Bring Disability Education to your School
Different is a great thing to be.
It’s time for every kid to know that & to feel accepted by their community.
Agreed?
-
Heck yes! Educators and parents like you are what make our schools places of belonging. To bring Disability Education to your school, or to bring Abby Burle to speak, the first step is getting in touch with your principal or school administrator.
You can try sending them an email like this, or you can write your own:
Hi ______,
I know our school prides itself on being a place where all of our kids can learn and thrive. But there’s an area I know we can be doing better: disability inclusion.
There’s a lot to learn. But I know if we can understand what families and kids impacted by disabilities need to be meaningfully included in our school community, the whole community will be better for it. Recently, I came across an org called Belonging, Co. It’s founded by a former teacher. She and her team created an educational newsletter for parents, and they also travel to speak at schools.
The school district of ________ has already adopted the newsletter, and they’ve had parents say things like “XXXXXXXX”. It’s $1/student for the school district to invest in, and a portion of the proceeds goes to a nonprofit that provides housing for families traveling to receive medical care for their kiddos with long-term disabilities. You can learn more about them here, or you can reach out directly to them for a quote at hi@loveyourstory.us.
Thanks for considering it, and for championing families impacted by disabilities at our school,
YOUR NAME
-
You’re a rock star. People like you are making school a place of belonging. To bring Disability Education to your school, or to bring Abby Burle to speak, the first step is getting in touch with your principal or school administrator.
You can try sending them an email like this, or you can write your own:
Hi ______,
I know our school prides itself on being a place where all of our kids can learn and thrive. But there’s an area I know we can be doing better: disability inclusion.
There’s a lot to learn. But I know if we can understand what families and kids impacted by disabilities need to be meaningfully included in our school community, the whole community will be better for it. Recently, I came across an org called Belonging, Co. It’s founded by a former teacher. She and her team created an educational newsletter for parents, and they also travel to speak at schools.
The school district of ________ has already adopted the newsletter, and they’ve had parents say things like “XXXXXXXX”. It’s $1/student for the school district to invest in, and a portion of the proceeds goes to a nonprofit that provides housing for families traveling to receive medical care for their kids with long-term disabilities. You can learn more about them here, or you can reach out directly to them for a quote at hi@loveyourstory.ushi@loveyourstory.us.
Thanks for considering it, and for championing families impacted by disabilities at our school,
YOUR NAME
-
Thank you for wanting to make your school a place of belonging. It really matters. Fill out this contact form, or send over an email to abigail@belongingco.us and we’ll get the process started. If you have questions, I’m happy to hop on a call.
Bring Disability Education to your Home
Subscribe to the Disability Education newsletter for $1.99/month, and learn ways to create belonging right at home. One family at a time, we can build communities where every kid knows that they belong.
One of the best ways to create spaces of belonging?
Read books in your home that feature characters with disabilities!
We made a list of our family’s favorites, so you don’t have to go searching. (If you read ‘em, tag us @belongingco.us and tell us what you think!)
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“Change never happens at the pace we think it should. It happens over years of people joining together, strategizing, sharing, and pulling all the levers they possibly can. Gradually, excruciatingly slowly, things start to happen, and then suddenly, seemingly out of the blue, something will tip.”
― Judith Heumann, Being Heumann: An Unrepentant Memoir of a Disability Rights Activist
Sometimes, the world makes us feel small
But the truth is:
We can make a difference. “Small” things add up.
What small step can you take today to create a space of belonging?